Good Marriages Start with the Husband!
Yes, that’s right, every good marriage is good because the husband has decided to take responsibility for making sure his marriage is what it should be.
I believe that in order for a marriage to be great the husband needs to be these five things in the marriage.
Committed to Excellence: This is where the husband has decided that no matter who he is with he will be the very best version of himself a woman could ever ask for. I always tell clients that no matter where you go you take you with you, so you better take the very best version of yourself with you. As men we need to always be improving who we are to our wives and especially to ourselves. You deserve this and so does your wife! Take a good look at yourself and ask yourself would I want to be married to me? Would I be happy if I had to wake up next to myself everyday? Would I be happy with the way I currently treat my wife? Commit to excellence and make your marriage and life a daily priority. Don't just commit to making your work life excellent but make your marriage life even better.
Take Ownership: One of the quickest ways to diffuse a challenging situation is to take ownership of the situation and especially your attitude towards the situation. I have always found that when we own the issue, we can easily diffuse it. If my wife and I ever have any issues I will very quickly make sure I own the issue even if it is not my fault. I even more so own the issue when it is my fault. This is part of being the leader for the home and setting the example for others to follow. Staying pissed off and keeping the issue alive is never healthy for a relationship. Why at any time would you ever want to be mad? I cannot stand to stay mad! I always make it a priority to apologize to my wife when I am wrong and own the situation and do whatever it takes to make it right.
Decide Who You Will Be: Deciding who you will be as a man and husband is one of the most empowering things you can do as a husband. I decided a long time ago that I wanted to be the kind of husband that my wife would love and enjoy talking about to her friends and family. I wanted to be the kind of husband that my kids would rave about. I wanted to be the kind of husband that did everything in my power to make sure my marriage is one that thrives and not just survives. I wanted to be the leading example in my home for how to treat other people especially those closest to me. You see every day we are given the gift of choice. You have a choice each day to either have a good marriage or have a marriage that you are not happy with. I have decided that I want to have a good marriage. This is my choice and my choices will ultimately empower my wife and I to have a thriving marriage. Make the choice today to be your best no matter what your wife is. And remember anything good you do for your wife you do it because it’s the right thing to do and you expect nothing in return. I love my wife because I want to not because I want or need something from her.
Attitude Towards Yourself and Others: How you see yourself will become a direct reflection in how you treat your wife and many others. So many men spend their entire lives unhappy with themselves and ultimately having an unhappy life. The most empowering thing you can do for your wife and kids is to learn to really love who you are. There is a scripture in the bible that says, “He who loves himself loves his wife.” Having a high self-esteem is extremely important in having a great relationship. When you learn to build yourself up you ultimately are learning how to build your wife up as well. A daily compliment goes a long way. Think about the compound effect how it can grow whatever you are feeding. Feed your relationship love every single day and you will find it growing into something beautiful.
Self-Less: This is probably one of the most challenging things I have ever had to learn myself. Becoming self-less. We as humans tend to primarily think about one person and that is yourself. We tend to only want to do for our self and not others. Now women are almost always the opposite, they are always wanting to serve the family and especially their husbands. This seems to fade as time goes on due to a consistent lack of servitude from the husband. Our wives are a great example for us to follow when it comes to self-less. As husbands we need to be willing to do even more for our wives than she is for us. This is not about things, it is about being the team player your wife is desperately needing and pitching in when it is not convenient for you. I am like most men; I hate to clean the house and all the normal chores that come along with being in a relationship. But I do my part because this is part of being self-less. Your wife deserves your help no matter how long of a day you had. If you were a single dad or single guy you are going to clean your own house in most cases and cook for yourself and family when needed. So, let’s make it a priority to help and be more self-less.
Having a great marriage is simply a choice that you make. I believe that as men it is our responsibility to lead the home and set the example for the rest of the house to follow. Not an example of ignorance and control but one of love, courage, fun, faith and the list can go on. Do your part as the husband and the rest will fall in place. If you have found yourself at a place where you think it is to late and your wife no longer wants you do and follow this anyway because it is who you have decided to be. Becoming the very best husband a woman would ever want should always be your number one priority if you are going to be in a relationship. There are so many other things we can add but for now we will leave it at this.
Thanks for taking the time to read this blog post.
Husbands if you are ever in need of Marriage Coaching to help you learn how to create the habits that help a marriage to thrive then please send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org
Eric Rios / Marriage & Relationship Coach