5 Mistakes that are killing your marriage.
You are giving your time to everything else except your relationship.
You are sharing your intimate problems with everyone else except your partner.
You are focusing on all of your partners shortcomings.
You aren’t taking the time to give any real value to your relationship.
You are hoping without action that your relationship will get better.
Killer #1. Have you ever really taken the time to see how much time you actually spend on your relationship? We all have the same amount of time each day but for some reason that time is not ever spent on making the relationship better. We spend all of our time with our daily life routines and we only keep the left overs for our relationship. The problem with this is that by the time we get to the leftover time we are too tired and go to bed and find ourselves in the same routine the next day. Make time to take time to give your relationship life.
Killer #2. Now this is one of the most common ones that kills your relationship. You are sharing your intimate problems with all the wrong people. You are telling your coworkers, your friends, your neighbors, your parents and so on. The problem with this is they are going to only give you a very biased opinion about your situation and only support you and encourage you to maybe make an irrational choice or take advantage of your vulnerability at the time you are your weakest in your relationship. Many affairs come from this kind of action when we are sharing our problems with others that really do not have our best interest in hand. Take the time to speak to a professional so you get the correct direction given to you.
Killer #3. This is the number one argument creator in my opinion. You focus on all the little short comings your partner has. All you can see are the things they are not doing right in your opinion. In many cases we do this when we ourselves are the ones who are really not happy so we look for the faults in your partner to make ourselves feel better. Many partners only look for the short comings because it allows them to feel like they are better and in control. Take time out each and every day to look for the things your partner has done right in that day and make sure you celebrate that with them. Always be on the lookout for what they do right not what they have done wrong. Change your focus!
Killer #4. Wow now this one is so common, we aren’t taking any time to give our relationship any real value. We don’t take the time to do a weekly date night, we don’t take the time to just go on a walk, and we don’t take the time to maybe just go shopping together or even go to a movie.
All of our time is spent on doing so many other things that don’t bring any real value to the relationship. Take the time to do something special with your partner even if it is something you don’t like to do. This isn’t about you it is about the relationship. Make together time a must and you will find yourself fulfilled in ways you never dreamed.
Killer #5. Now this is the biggest killer of all, we are hoping that our relationship will get better all by itself. We are thinking if I can just weather the storm I know it will get better. We are living in this fantasy world of hope that we don’t have to change anything and then all of a sudden it’s now amazing. This is so far from the truth.
We are constantly waiting on the other one to make the changes and thinking that we don’t have to do anything at all to make it better. We think it is someone else’s responsibility to make it better. Remember that all change has to start somewhere. Let this change start with you. Start doing the things that bring life to the relationship. Think of a plant that is dying because you have not watered it, it only comes back to life when we start to give it the right kind of attention. Your relationship will be the same way. When you give it attention you give it life.
For more articles on marriage and relationships go to my blog page @ thesmilingmarriage.com
Eric Rios is a marriage & life coach working to bring back that smile to your marriage. If you would like help in setting and reaching your marital goals make sure you visit our site at http://www.thesmilingmarriage.com/contact-2/ and fill out the contact form and we will get back to you promptly.